My Nemesis

When I first got pregnant, I was swarmed with women full of advice and good intentions. Of course I expected this, and was more than willing to listen and learn from their experience. One thing I learned very quickly was that most women developed an aversion to some type of food.

This one couldn't touch raw red meat, that one still gets ill at the sight of eggs, a third couldn't stand the sight of anything meat except liver. Chicken, cheese, ground beef, pork, fish... The list seemed to be made up entirely of proteins. Armed with this knowledge, I prepared myself for the protein that my child would choose to despise whilst en- eutero.

Imagine my surprise when the second trimester shows up, the morning sickness drains away slowly and I can eat everything again. Everything except for vegetables.

Vegetables.

Something that made up about seventy five percent of my diet before I got pregnant is now completely foreign and disgusting. For my entire life I thought that children who would develop a gag reflex over their green beans were seriously stubborn and just didn't want to eat the dreaded little veggies. Imagine my surprise when I start to have the same reaction (albeit a little less pronounced) over one of my favorite veggies of all time!

I worked to keep veggies in my diet, even if it was only salad and maybe a carrot or two every once in a while. All the time thinking how strange it was that this was what I couldn't eat. Not chicken, not hamburger. Vegetables.

By now, I have managed to introduce most vegetables back into my diet. Everything except for cabbage and its cousins. I found myself picking out the red cabbage (usually my favorite part) from my salad one day. Cauliflower and broccoli, no matter how raw or steamed they are, or what type of toppings they have, still make me gag a little.

But there is an end in sight. If all goes well, in less than two months I shall have a child outside of my belly instead of inside. I'll be able to eat and enjoy cabbage in all its forms again, and Baby will, too.

First meal after baby? Maybe, just maybe, a big plate of steamed broccoli (but more likely ice cold water and my nurses and family members telling me I need to eat something)

God bless and see you soon,

Joelle

Valentine's Day

As February the fourteenth approaches every year, I see a lot of negativity all around me about Valentine's Day. I think it is sad that a day that is devoted to love has so much hate surrounding it. I always thought there was enough hate in the world and that a holiday about love really should be pretty acceptable no matter what your creed, color, or background. After much watching of friends and relatives over the years, I've heard several arguments against it and wanted to share my thoughts about each of them.

"If you knew the history of Valentine's Day, you wouldn't celebrate it"

Admittedly, This is the least often heard argument, but I thought it was still worth mentioning.

I celebrate Christmas and Easter. I give away candy on Halloween. I know the background- both good and not so good- on many of the people we have holidays for, and I still celebrate all of them. The history or origin of holidays are important to know, but how we celebrate them now should also be kept in mind before we condemn something. Know about the past, but don't live in it.

In my mind, Valentine's Day is actually much closer in relation to the history of the man it is named after than just about any other holiday celebrated in the United States that I can think of. It is still a celebration of love, and that's basically what St Valentine gave his life for in the first place.


"Valentine's Day is just for commercial businesses to make you buy things you don't otherwise need"


Every other holiday in the US has the exact same commercial side. You can find jewelry stores advertising for President's Day. Plates and cups for Martin Luther King Junior Day. Candy for every holiday imaginable, including ones I've not heard of. Everything is commercialized now and you can't avoid it.

The response to this is simple- don't buy into it. You can celebrate Valentine's without spending one extra penny. As a couple, Zach and I have done it before and will more than likely do it again. If you can avoid buying into it the other 364 days of the year, you most certainly do not have to give in to it on Valentine's day. Candy and flowers cost nowhere near as much as what most people spend on Christmas anyway.

Plus, you can get cheap chocolates and candies on February 15th. Just like November 1st. What's not to love about that?

"If you really love someone, shouldn't you show them all the time?"


Yes. Yes you should.

But if we're going to take that route, we really should not celebrate any holiday. We should be thankful all the time. We should remember and celebrate Jesus' birth, death and resurrection daily. We know the country we live in and its history. We certainly know we were born. We should always love and respect, and appreciate our parents. And yet we celebrate, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, The Fourth of July, our own personal birthdays, and Mother's and Father's Day.

Celebrating a holiday doesn't mean what we're celebrating is only important for one day. It simply means that it's important enough to us to have a day dedicated to it. And I think that a single day out of the year to celebrate love is wonderful. Especially since now it's not really just for couples... We'll get to that in a second...

"I'm single so the holiday means nothing to me"

I really think this might be one of the silliest arguments simply because of the flexibility of relationships. Most people are not single their entire lives, so should we bring the holiday back when you find a mate? What if you break up? There will always be single people, and there will always be couples.

But I think Valentine's goes far beyond that now. Children hand out valentines to their classmates. Some of them spend hours hand making each and every one. I do not think they intend to marry, or become romantically involved, with every child around them, but they still wish to let others know that they care about and think of them.

We had a party at Awana last night and some of the kids went out of their way to find and give me the valentines they had. When I got home, I looked at them all, gathered them to my heart and thanked God for the wonderful gift these children were. That they thought enough of their teachers to find them even after the 'main event' was over and give them a silly piece of paper just so we knew they did care made me feel far more special than I probably should have.

If you're completely hung up on the coupleness aspect and simply cannot stay home alone and pout about not 'being' one, find a friend or two and go out together. Single friends, nieces, nephews, sons, daughters, parents (people who are 'coupled' but alone for whatever reason would work too, I suppose. Just don't take the mopey one who will bring you down further) There WILL be people with no plans for the day if you look hard enough... The things you can do on Valentine's are pretty much endless. My favorite is to go to a mall and watch all the couples that suddenly seem to have sprung up. People who are set up because they couldn't imagine Valentine's alone. People who have been together for fifty years and decided to go out just because they feel obligated, and couples who would do this on any other day, but this is just a little extra special because of the holiday. People watching is great any day. On Valentine's, it's a whole new world.

So please, even if you can't stand the holiday, don't complain about it. What point is there to being depressingly negative about something that really won't go away no matter what you do anyway? And do we really want to cover the true spirit behind the day more than all the lace doilies in the supermarket already have?

I'm free tomorrow if you're lonely. We can go to Tyson's Corner together and giggle.

God bless and see you soon,

Joelle

Gramps

I have a very dear friend who has devoted the last six years of her life to helping, and then taking care of, her grandfather. Gramps was in hospice care for a little over a month before crossing the rainbow bridge a little over a week ago.

While I've always admired her ability to juggle Gramps, finances, children, a hundred other things and time on the computer so she could tell those of us who don't live near enough to her to know what's going on, I always thought of her as a caregiver first. I knew she had children. I knew she loved them dearly, but I never thought about them unless we were having particular discussions about either.

The night Gramps left this earth, I found her status on facebook. In it I read peace, grief, rest, and confusion, but most importantly, I read love. Love, not only for her departed, but for her children.

I read how they helped both her and Gramps. I read the pride that shone in their mother's eyes as she wrote. Her fingertips sent glowing streaks of joy and utter amazement at her children's actions through the internet to shine in the computer screens of her friends around the world.

I was stunned. Not by the actions of her children, I knew they would be wonderful, but by her reaction to them. She seemed so overwhelmed at their actions. So amazed that these young adults were her children. That she was fortunate enough, not only to know them, but to have the blessing of them calling her, "Mom".

That's the kind of mother I pray to be. One who knows her children are gifts. One who loves them and makes them a priority no matter what else is going on around her. And one who not only is proud of them, but stands in awe as they exceed her expectations. It's been said that children are the most accurate reflection of their parents, and I pray that my child will reflect Christ's love as strongly as her's did that night, and every night.

God bless and see you soon,

Joelle

The Side You SHOULD Show.

Yesterday, I posted a note on facebook about some disturbing pictures that have been floating around regarding abused animals (If you missed it you can find it here). While I stand by everything I stated in it, I've thought about it and have decided I missed something, and that there is a side of animal abuse that everyone can and should show.

Yours.

It resonates far more intensely than anything else. Positive images, notes, and discussions about what you do to help dispel abuse in your area will make people want to help and do what they can far more than a horrific picture with a no name organization you're supposed to donate to.

If you wish to help, local is always better. Even local shelters under the larger names of ASPCA and Humane Society do not receive all that they need from the parent organization. Call or visit to find out how you can lift up your local shelter best. Our local shelter has an amazing staff and the animals that are brought in there thrive both in the shelter and when they leave it. We adopted Monty last March and have been nothing but impressed with the staff and shelter. They're tiny, but take in all they can and the animals fly out of there so fast they can almost always take more in. We support them when we can, and they will be our first stop when next we decide it's time for another animal.

When we adopted Montgomery, they had very little information about his past. All we knew is he was a little dog with a big personality. Soon we discovered our pom mix, full of salt and vinegar, was actually abused before he found himself in the shelter. He didn't bear any marks. Most abused and rescued animals do not, but physical scars are only found in the worst treated animals.

Nothing scares this dog. He loves being 'thrown' into the air during playtime. He attacks the vacuum cleaner. He tried to tear an American bulldog mix to pieces the first time they met. He's fearless. He can face any challenge in his way and laugh in its face.

Except a broom.

The first time I pulled it out of the closet, he was nowhere to be seen for over half an hour. Nine months later, he still hides when it's first pulled out. When I sweep, he now wanders to the edge of the room I'm working in, cocks his head, and watches with the most intrigued look on his face. A cross of, "You're doing it wrong." and, "Is that really what that's for?" He will not come into the house when one is in view. When Charlie goes near the broom- an act he's liable to do, I think he likes being nudged out of the way- Monty either runs for cover, or pulls on ears and tail on side opposite the sweeper to try to keep his brother from being beaten.

We still know little of his past, and we most likely never will understand exactly what happened to him for the first year and a half of his life, but we do have hope. Hope that he will one day, not only be safe from being hit, learn that being nudged out of the way while sweeping isn't such a terrible thing after all.

So, please, show your side of abuse. Prevent it. Not for all animals, this is an impossible task to take on your shoulders, but for the ones in your own home. It might not seem like much, but they'll think it's everything.

God bless and see you soon,

Joelle