Little Things, Big Impact.

Jeremiah and I do the weekly grocery shopping. I try to keep it to once a week and pretend that it saves me money. 

On our weekly excursions, I notice things that remind me of friends, so I snap a photo of it and send it off to them once I get home. I'm not the biggest fan of shopping, so it is more enjoyable to think of the people I love while I do this most odious of tasks. I never buy anything. I don't like a lot of "things" in my house, so I avoid buying them for others unless I know they will really appreciate them. Also, until very recently, we were quite broke. 

A couple weeks ago, we went to a few extra stores to find replacements for library books Buttercup ate (Just so you know, libraries don't save you money when you forget to keep them away from puppy teeth!). I noticed a book a friend of mine would like. She recently lost her mother and I haven't known exactly what to do or say, words of exhortation is not my gift... You need a toilet scrubbed, I'm there. You need someone to tell you you're awesome, get my husband... this made me think of her instantly. I smiled, took a photo and walked by. 

We did not find any books we were looking for. Apparantly, a board book translated from French and one in Spanish don't have a big market here... Go figure.

While walking back out, I saw the book again. I thought of my friend and what she had been through the past few months. I thought about the money I had in my pocket from my grandparents and the fact that Zach's job now allows me to spend this on things we don't always need.

I bought the book. 

Took it home, wrapped it up, and sent it down with a note that she was in my prayers.

This week, I got a thank you note from her. Inside was a crochet cross that I thought she must have made, because surely she wouldn't send anything made by her mother to me as thanks for a book. But when I read the note, I found out that, not only was it made by her mother, the pattern was of her original design. 

So now I have this reminder that even though it was just a book, even though I don't know what to say, and even though it was just a book, it made a difference to my friend, and she returned the kindness.

God bless and see you soon,

Joelle

Is that a man in my ladies' room?

Transgendered people and which restrooms they use have been the talk of much of the internet community for what feels like forever, but in actuality has only been a few weeks. Instead of me focusing on what is right or wrong about it, or the science behind transgenderism, I'm going to look at this practically from my viewpoint as a conservative, Christain, cis gendered, straight, whatever else you want to call me, woman. Brace yourselves.

I think this was fully pulled into the public eye when Target announced it's policy on people using whichever restroom they more fully associated with. Apparently, people were surprised that Target supported the LGBT community and rushed to boycott it. But here's the thing, Target has always been very liberal leaning and supportive of the LGBT culture. Why was this a surprise?

It reminds me of a few years ago when Dan Kathy told everyone he believed marriage should be between a man and a woman and everyone decided to stop going to Chik-Fil-A. Did you go there before? Did you not know what the founders believed? If you want to support or not support a company because of their political leanings, that's fine, but neither of these companies has ever hidden what they stand for. If you don't want to support agenda x- then researching where you spend your money is vital. I'm too lazy to do most of that, but neither of the companies has ever hidden their leanings, so why is everyone surprised when they say something or put a policy into effect that goes along with that viewpoint? Either research where you buy, or don't get upset when they don't think like you do.

But, Jo! What about the children? This is dangerous!

Well, yes. It is. Public restrooms are third in line for places where rapes, abductions, and other terrible things happen (from strangers, the numbers are much more skewed when you consider the rapes and other domestic violence that happens between people who know each other). That was the statistic before this policy ever met the world wide web. Public parking lots are number one. We all know this and take precautions (No, Mr doctor on TV, I will not park as far away from the store as possible and walk in. Do you know how dangerous that is?). Bathrooms are already dangerous. Very much so. They won't be more dangerous because one person in every three hundred feels like a gender opposite to his/her plumbing. You should have already been vigilant in any public space, as most people I've seen on both sides of this issue state. If you are already cautious, the one pervert in, quite possibly ten thousand (my guesstimate, no actual science to back it up) that would use this policy to do something they wouldn't without it being in place would already have you ready and waiting. Because, let's be honest, if a man was going to stalk a bathroom for women, he was going to do it anyway. Men (and I'm sure women, but the focus is always on men, and I am a woman, so I always associate myself with the lady's side of things... Sorry one lone guy reading this.) WERE doing it anyway. And the policy isn't going to protect them when someone is assaulted because, "It said I could use the bathroom where I wanted!" because that's not using the bathroom, that's assaulting someone, which is not legal!

One last thought I have on this issue that I've not seen much discussion on, Where were transgendered people using the bathroom before this policy? Before these laws? Because they feel and look and act like the gender they associate with. Because they want the world to perceive them as the gender they are inside, not outside. Because they do everything in their power to appear as a man/woman, they were most likely using the restroom right alongside you and you didn't even know it.

I don't often shop at Target. It's still 'The Expensive Store" and since we mostly buy food and their groceries are awful, there's not much reason to go often. But I will still go occasionally, and I will still use their restrooms, and I will still use caution, not because I think that woman might have been a man, but because that is what I already did because they are already the number three place where bad things happen.

So, that's it. I know this is a lot of words to say, "I don't get it." But truly, this particular transgender issue, I do not understand. If that person next to you was born male, or female, what is it to you? If it is a big deal, why wasn't it before? This issue has done more to separate us from each other than it ever should have.  It probably didn't say anything you were expecting or hoping it to say, but I'm not sorry. There are so many other things to be up in arms about. Where a person uses the lavatory isn't in my list. People trying to convince me to eat cilantro, people telling me how to get rid of ants, and people telling me how to raise my son- not suggesting or offering advice, but telling me what I should do- those are.

God bless and see you eventually, maybe!

Joelle