As Seen on TV

I don't watch a lot of television, but when I do, I'm always surprised at the types of things advertised. Perhaps it's the channels I watch, but the most prevalent seem to be cleaning items and cooking utensils. While some of these are great (while I would never buy a swivel sweeper, I have used one and it is a nifty little device), a lot of them seem pretty much useless or much more high maintenance than really necessary. I've compiled a list of a few of the ones I am struck by most often as pretty much worthless.

Before you read further, remember that I did not own ice cube trays until someone visited and wanted ice in her water... And couldn't believe I had none.

The Perfect Brownie Pan-

Given the amount of brownies (or even cake- shaped items) I bake per month, I might not have a real purpose for a pan that's completely devoted to one thing, but I've never had a problem with "non square" brownies. Even when I cut them and they're not quite even, they still taste the same. I really have a hard time justifying a nine by thirteen three piece (Well, four, if you include the "special serving tray") baking pan when I already have one that works just as well. The way the brownies are divided also irks me. Why must I have one size brownie? I like a little one now, a big one later, a mid size one for lunch... You see why I don't bake them often....

PS. The middle pieces are also my favorite. Perfect brownie HAS no middle pieces. So there's less reason than most people for me to not buy them.

The Perfect Pancake-

This is basically two pans hinged together waffle- iron style.

You put the batter in.
Close the lid.
Wait.
Flip the pan.
Open the pan.
Serve with a spatula.

As opposed to using a spatula and a regular pan.

Put batter in.
Wait.
Flip.
Serve.

Fewer steps, one less pan to clean, and less chance of batter being flung in the stove if you flip too early.

As a bonus, you get a batter dispenser, which, I must admit is nice to have. But only if you're making three hundred pancakes and don't mind having leftover batter in your new mix- as they are nearly impossible to clean.

Bottle tops-

Don't you hate it when your open can of soda goes flat after you've opened it? Do you wish for a way you could keep your pop from loosing its fizz? Wait, you drink all the soda in a can before it goes flat or don't do so because you forgot about it? Yeah, me too. (Also, another pain in the butt item to clean)

Eggtastic!

Apparently, eggs are exceptionally wily things to work with, as there are many, many items specifically designed just for them. Among my favorites are-

EZ Cracker Egg Cracker

I actually very much doubt even I could look more incompetent than these people while trying to crack an egg the wrong way....

Egg Genie Electric Egg Cooker


Traditional boiled egg steps.

1. Boil water in pot
2. Add eggs
3. Set timer
4. Take eggs out with spoon
5. Wash pot

Egg Genie steps-

1. Measure correct amount of water into the the basin
2. Put tray for eggs over basin
3. Poke hole in each egg (Maybe if you need an EZ egg cracker to keep yourself from getting messy, you should have someone else do this step)
4. Balance eggs in tray.
5. Place lid.
6. Turn on.
7. DON'T get burned by the steam when you open it after it turns off!
8 Wash the basin, the tray, the specially designed egg-poker and the lid.

Erm.... I thought these things were supposed to make life easier...

You CAN also use it to steam veggies, but I seem to have better luck microwaving or pan cooking them than steaming anyway...

The Eggstractor Egg Peeler

Just... No.





ADDED BONUS


I loved stuffed animals when I was a kid and still have several, but there's a new breed of stuffed animals coming out I'm sure many of you (at least in the states) are familiar with. It's a Pillow Pet!

Alligator- Rawr!

I like the idea of shaped pillows. They're cute and fun. They're also apparently so popular that someone else wanted to make money off of the too! Welcome the Happy Nappers!

Dragon EATS Alligator!

I can't help but giggle...

Of course, with my looking for photos of these items, I found lists of "stupid" kitchen gadgets and was quite surprised to find a spoon rest on several lists. Using the counter for most women is ok. I just.... Yuck. I don't want to put a spoon that was in my food onto my counter no matter how clean it is. Blech. And I would definitely find space for a sandwich press. It has so many uses besides sandwiches, And I know it's a pain in the butt to clean up, but a double-quick grilled cheese with tomato that I don't have to worry about falling apart while flipping does have its appeal.

So yes, I think these items are ridiculous, but I'm sure people buy them and have their reasons for doing so. Just like I have my reasons for my "useless" kitchen tools. Why don't we let bygones be bygones and use our own tools the way we like. (But please TV people, do you really think we as a species that bad at cracking eggs?)

God bless and see you soon,

Joelle